As an avid writer and reader, I should love all this self-isolation. Time no longer stands as an issue, all distracting events are cancelled anyway and sometimes it seems as though the world peacefully sleeps. Except, even the lure of a stress free learning environment, sleeping in and wearing comfortable clothes all day cannot distract me from everything I miss for this comfort. 

The reasons behind quarantining populations certainly warrant merit, because I want this virus to end as much as the next person. Preventing the spread of the COVID-19 epidemic in any way possible shows admirable action from leaders across the world, and everyday I pray for their progress. But even in my understanding, I feel selfish for always returning to the thoughts of what I am being forced to miss, instead of focusing on those whose lives are on the line. I suppose human nature compels one to turn inward first, for there are times when I am grateful to this quarantined lifestyle.

The main problem lies in the milestones. As a senior especially, it pains me from the inside out to be absent from so many events I anxiously awaited. FFA , tennis tournaments, UIL events, senior prom, senior breakfast, and graduation, to name a few. My whole life has been turned upside down. At this point there remains a chance of resuming some of these activities, so despite probabilities, I still hold hope for the future. 

In a brighter light, some advantages exist to being stuck inside. I feel more accomplished regarding nearly everything, without the distractions of events or mandatory activities I am able to learn at my own pace and make time for extra projects, such as learning sign language. In addition, the quarantine afforded me with my first opportunity this year to really connect with my family instead of my usual spring schedule of never being home to see them or cooped upstairs every night with a mountain of homework. Most days I sleep until 8:30 every morning, then do homework in my home’s study, surrounded by windows and listening to classical music. With work finished around 2:00 pm, I play games, watch movies, paint, write, read and cook. My life feels more complete, even as it misses so much.

Mostly I feel wistful. Thankful, but wistful. I am living in an event that will one day be talked about in history books, and I am simply going through my everyday life, inside. For those reading who feel the same as I do, take advantage of this time, no matter what you miss. There may be a few milestone memories that will not exist, so make new ones with all the time provided now. Go hug a family member you live with or send a socially distanced hug to someone else. Engage in human connection through any way possible, because that is the only way to get through this: together.